Burying the lead

We get all kinds of letters at the Enquirer here. This one seemed to save the most interesting stuff for the end of the intro:

Dear Sir or Madam

My name is Sean Swain, and I am announcing my candidacy for Governor of the State of Ohio.

I have no major party backing me; I will be excluded from the televised debates; by statute, you will not find my name on the ballot, and I am relegated to a write-in campaign. I am operating on a $17 per month budget from my prison cell.

Yup, prison cell. He's an inmate at the Toledo Correctional Institutuion.

Swain goes on to explain how he is the "Insurgent Candidate" for governor. He enclosed rather detailed position statements on everything from minimum wage (the governor and staff should have their pay reduced to it;) trade (Ohio should establish independent trade relations with Cuba and Venezuela) and, not surprisingly, prison reform ("The Ohio prison system is the single most abysmal spending disaster in the history of Ohio government."

Swain calls himself a political prisoner; "He has been held captive since 1991 for the self-defense stabbing death of the nephew of the Clerk of Courts in Sean's home."

His letter concludes:

"If he is ever released from prison and he is not elected Governor of Ohio, Sean intends to seek political asylum in Brazil, Venezuela, Argentina, Cuba or the Zapatista-controlled areas of Mexico, where he can write freely and continue the struggle against the oppressive forces of international capital."