Parker wows Clermont Democrats

If they gave out door prizes at candidate forums, Jim Parker, a Democratic candidate in the 2nd Congressional District, would almost always walk away with the prize for "candidate who traveled the farthest to attend.''

Parker, a health care administrator from Pike County in the far eastern reaches of the seven-county district, has been wearing grooves into the James A. Rhodes Appalachian Highway lately, making the 200-mile round-trip from his home in Waverly several times a week to Democratic forums in eastern Hamilton County, Warren County and the western edge of Clermont.

He did it again Saturday afternoon, showing up with three of his fellow 2nd District candidates and a platoon of local and statewide candidates at the candidate forum sponsored by Clermont County's Quin-T Democrat Club at the Union Township Civic Center in Eastgate.

Parker should have gotten not only the "candidate who traveled farthest'' door prize, but one for "best use of props in a stump speech.''

When Parker was called to the lectern to speak (a rickety old lectern that Quin-T president Paul Campbell said was used by Bill Clinton in his 1992 Labor Day speech at Coney Island), he set a large, empty plastic jar on the table in front of him.

"Don't let me forget to tell you about the jar before I sit down,'' Parker said.

He then launched into a six-minute speech about what he sees as the failures of the Bush adminstration, the Republicans in Congress, and the 2nd District incumbent, Jean Schmidt, in particular.

During a riff about his contention that the war in Iraq was a needless endeavor, he said "I'm going to tell you something that might cost me the election, but I'm going to say it anyway.''

"Even if Saddam Hussein had never been born, 9/11 would have happened anyway,'' Parker said.

He whipped a box-cutter out of his jacket pocket and waved it over his head.

"There were no weapons of mass destruction,'' Parker said. "This is the weapon of mass destruction that was used to take down that plane that came down in that field in Pennsylvania. It's the only weapon of mass destruction that's ever been used against the United States.''

He wound up talking about health care, racing to finish after a timekeeper from the Glen Este High School Young Democrats Club waved a 30-secod warning sign at him.

"Okay, the jar,'' Parker said, starting to walk back to his seat. "Can't forget about the jar. That's the jar that contains George W. Bush's health care plan. It's just like the jars you see at the cash registers in convenience stores all over the district, put there by people trying to raise money to pay medical bills. There's something wrong about people having to do that.''

Parker took his place among the other candidates to a long round of applause from the 60 Democrats in the room.